Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
