There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
