I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
