Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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