I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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