just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
