so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
