i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
