you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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