White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
