the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
