I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
