allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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