Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
