i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
