Say something about gay babies.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
