pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
