i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
