Whod you bang
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
