She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize