i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
