Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is Oprah even human
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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