ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
