We won't sleep together?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
