like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize