She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize