You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
