I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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