Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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