is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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