You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
