from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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