I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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