well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
