But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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