Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
