Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize