If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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