it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
