rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
