okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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