just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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