Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
