wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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