No stitches, just platelets and will power
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
