drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
