Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize