And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
