I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am naked and annoyed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize