I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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