yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
please come you make the beer taste better
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
