i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
