So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
