call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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