just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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