don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
