with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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