just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
